mother's day present

May 14, 2006 at 12:12 am (Uncategorized)

i miss my mom so much. people are starting to give me the “holy crap, why won’t she just get over it already” looks, and my labmates seem to have decided my continued depression is a sign of scientific weakness. well screw them all.

i tried to go out and get a mother’s day card for my mom, but i almost broke down in the store looking at all the stupid, happy cards for people to give to their living moms while they pretended to actually mean something behind it. i thought of making a shrine, but it didn’t seem right, so instead i thought of things my mom loved- purple things, and cats. and i’m tired of always carrying the burden of all the tears i’m going to cry for her for the rest of my life, so i thought i could bring in a standin, for those moments when life might shine through my darkness with its original splendor. not that it does that very often. so, i made this little purple cat, holding flowers i should be placing on my mom’s….trees? she doesn’t have a grave, but we did plant fruit trees for her, and last year i placed flowers in the middle of them for her. a silly ritual, but it eased my soul slightly, for a moment at least.


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