it only takes one chicken fried steak…

July 16, 2006 at 1:16 pm (Uncategorized)

…to get me feeling all crappy ’bout my life. how does that work? it wasn’t a horrible chicken fried steak, or a huge one (so i’m not feeling guilty about eating too much), so why do i suddenly have this overwhelming feeling of dispair? maybe because i’ve been dreaming about stupid bowling alleys…specifically me working in one forever. for those who are not aware, i worked in a bowling alley for three years in high school, because it was across the street from where we lived and hiring, and i had tasted money one summer while working at a day camp and wanted more. plus i was freaked out about paying for college. then, i graduated from high school and worked at the bowling alley at ut- wheeee. i never dream about that place, or the people i knew while working there, just the first one. why?

is it because i’m afraid i’ll end up working in a bowling alley forever? i realized today that if i’m desparate for a job while writing my thesis, i could always look up the local bowling alleys in corpus. what if i get trapped and end up working there forever? assuming that they’d even hire me in the first place. they could take one look at my education and turn their noses up at me. that wouldn’t be a bad thing, except that there are pretty much no labs to work in here in corpus. i could try to hit up the a&m, but that seems kinda like a dead end- if they needed techs, they’d hire their own students first. boo. not that i’m not going to give it a try, though.

really, let’s be totally honest here- i really miss the treatment i got working in the bowling alleys. i’m not talking about the creapy bowlers who liked hitting on a scared 16 year old. i was the best employee at both bowling alleys, and my managers made sure to tell me so, very often with raises. now, i’m floundering as a scientist and my jerk boss either doesn’t notice me or emotionally reams me ’til i’m bawling. hm. funny how close the word bawling is to the word bowling…and funny that no one at any bowling alley ever made me cry (well, a customer did once, but she was a total bitch and i was having a bad day).

stupid bowling alley dreams and stupid bowling alley blogs. totally not helping me feel about anything. i’m going to go do an experiment that’ll reafirm how much i suck at this science and slip ever deeper into the pile of poop that is my emotional state today…


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