new work 'pooter

April 30, 2007 at 4:56 pm (Uncategorized)

so, here it is, 6pm, and i’m still at work. why, oh why am i still at work? i’m not a student! i’m a tech! that means leaving early! ah, but i have a new computer! a work computer, meaning that i can leave my personal laptop at home and not have to cart it around wherever i go, horray!

but, all is not well in the land of meg.

it’s a mac.

i’m a pc person.

boo.

but, it is little, and pretty, and shiny and new, which is always nice, not to mention the fact that i did not have to pay a cent for it. it takes forever to install stuff, which is annoying- i think it’s funny that mac people swear up and down that you can use macs right out of the box, while pcs have to wait forever to be user-ready-ha! i’ve been installing stuff since 3:30 on this here mac. not to mention learning all the strange features, like the subtle differences in pc and mac keyboards- the important difference is where i expected there to be a delete key, there is instead an eject key- no! ah well, the computer was running slow because of the installs and didn’t notice the eject request, so nothing dramatic happened. all in all, this ‘pooter feels sorta like a toy compared to the trusty hp i usually use. but, whatever.

alright. time to go home. yes, this was a boring and seemingly pointless post, but i was waiting on a program to install and had to kill some time…

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sigh

April 29, 2007 at 6:46 pm (Uncategorized)

so, getting off the antidepressants while living alone while the boy lives far away with the cats and all my friends are busy may not be a great idea. not to mention the fact that withdrawal symptoms suck serious butt. so, sigh.

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afternoon lull

April 26, 2007 at 2:31 pm (Uncategorized)

around 3:30 every day at work, i start getting antsy and begin my daily regiment of checking the clock every few minutes. no matter how much work i still have to do, i start thinking about how early i can get away with going home. i think it comes from sitting under fluorescent lights and staring at my computer for hours, but i feel like sometimes i can feel my eyes start to glaze over…sometimes i’m pretty sure i forget to blink.

must…go…outside……must get away from primer design! i love how the one technique i hated most in grad school is now my main task in this lab…stupid, stupid primers. you’d think working in an established model would make it easier, but alas, no.

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further turtle power

April 25, 2007 at 11:44 am (Uncategorized)

yesterday was a good day for turtles for me. first, i saw a super awesome cute turtle at the turtle pond- see last post- and then at home i was inspired to do some polymer clay crafting- behold the mini ninja turtle!
leonardo was always my favorite, so of course i made him rather than any other of the turtles. they’ll come next, followed by some mousers and monsters. i am annoyed that i forgot to give him arm bands and knee pads (or whatever they really are)! maybe i can add them in.

i also made a little rat- he had a cute little curly tail, but when i took him to work to be my lab mascot the curly part broke off! but, i can glue it back on, so all is well. speaking of tails…

hahaha! turtle tail! yeah it’s blurry but i don’t care. i love the tail. the turtles had tails in the comics, but somehow they were lost when they became animated. ah, the nerdiness.

so, i guess i should mention that i’m on day 6 of the reduced antidepressants, and i’m still doing well. today i take my last one…then i’m off them for “good” unless i relapse or something. wheee! and i’m still creative, as evidenced by the above guys!

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turtle power!

April 24, 2007 at 9:18 pm (Uncategorized)

hahaha, look at this! the world’s smallest turtle! so awesome!!

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waking up, part 1

April 23, 2007 at 7:16 pm (Uncategorized)

i figured out one thing that was good about my anti depressants- my memory sucked. why is this good, you ask? ’cause i could live in the moment. now i’m starting to remember things that i did that were pretty stupid, and rather than just laughing about them, i’m getting embarrassed! crap! i’m not in high school any more, i should be able to forget about that time i threw up on some guy in a bar a year and a half ago instead of blushing and groaning. poop. plus, i feel like my writing is boring now. maybe it was always boring, but i thought it was ok before? crap, this is going to take a while to get used to. i guess they’re called happy pills for a reason.

in the meantime, here’s some yummy biscuits i made recently. mmmmmm, sausage and cheese biscuits….mmmmm. secret family recipe that always makes me happy, and everyone i make them for always loves them. mmmmmm….

R. Iosifovna said…

I’m glad you’re phasing out the “happy” pills! In the long run, it will probably make you happier. And maybe you’ll begin to recall more pleasant memories (although, barfing on someone in a pub is what i consider to be a ‘happy’ memory. It’s pretty damn funny).

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anti-anti depressants, etc.

April 23, 2007 at 1:43 pm (Uncategorized)

ok, i made the sort of snap desicison last week to get off of my anti depressants. i’ve been on them for two years, and while i was in grad school i thought a lot about getting off of them because they seem to seriously decrease my creativity and, um, extra ciricular activities with the boy. so here i am, on day 4 of 7 of the half dose antidepressants. so far, so good. i felt a little funky last night, but it might have had something to do with the fact that the boy had just left to go back to corpus and i had a weird moment of “um, what the heck do i do in my free time again?”. who knows. i just don’t want to ever experience the fun “brain shivers” that result from the meds rushing out of my system too quickly.

but, what if i turn back into my boring, seriously awkward self when i’m off them completely? while i’m a big fan of confidence being key in the kind of person you are, i think perhaps this can only go so far in my case. i was a seriously awkward person before grad school, and i’ve very much enjoyed the post grad school, less awkward person i’ve become. but will this person stay with me now that the meds are going away? and why do i really want to get off them, anyway? what if they actually make me more creative? i never really got into crafting until i was on them…but then did i just pick up those hobbies as a distraction from the depression? just how much of me changed as a result of the meds, anyway?

i kind of feel very grumpy and tired. i can see these as just being side effects of the meds wearing off, but will they stick around forever? i like being happy-go-lucky, super confident meg!

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maybe this explains my frump?

April 20, 2007 at 8:34 pm (Uncategorized)

perhaps i have been in a frump because april just sucks for everyone. or maybe it’s ’cause i’m broke and can’t go to the bookstore that so proudly displays this quote. not that it matters, they rarely have anything i want…but it’s the principle of the thing.

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hmph.

April 19, 2007 at 8:40 pm (Uncategorized)

ok. i’m slightly over the latest frump phase.

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i hate this growing up crap.

April 16, 2007 at 10:12 pm (Uncategorized)

screw puberty, the mid twenties really suck.

R. Iosifovna said…

No age after 12 is a “good” age.

The teens were icky. The twenties even ickier. The thirties are wrinkly. The forties even more so.
And the fifties, well, you’re 3 feet under.

For the longevity of your “adulthood” you must slave away at a dead-end job. And your coworkers, parents, friends, random bum on your way to the bus stop, are all telling you to “grow up”. Blah, blah, blah…

I miss the days where I was a cute, seemingly innocent kid. When my only “job” was getting my teeth knocked out thus gettin some dought from the tooth fairy.

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