wait a minute honey, gotta add it up

December 20, 2007 at 11:22 pm (Uncategorized)

so, we’ve got a new technician in our lab. good goddess, she’s nosey, mean and is doing her best to undo everything i’ve already set up in the lab, including wrecking my relationship with my boss. i could sit and list the problems i have with her, and my boss for that matter (e.g. it is starting to look like my awesome, best boss ever is quite the fan of telling us what we want to hear- so what the heck is the truth?), but i’m trying to be the better person here. so, instead, let’s look at my problems and, more importantly, my strengths- or, why exactly i should stop letting the bastards get me down.

-i am smart. my biggest fear in the world is that people will see me as dumb, but in actuality i do know what i’m doing. most of the time. enough to count, anyway.
-i am easy to get along with- both of my assistants i count as very good friends, and i have a pretty good rapport with most of the people in the lab- except for the new tech, who has so far managed to argue with everything piece of advice i’ve given her…oops, negativity, how did that slip in there?
-i care- my biggest concern is not how i can fix the lab to work for me, but how i can help the people in the lab get their stuff done. seriously, that’s sorta the whole point of being a tech, isn’t it? the whole ‘research facilitator’ thing. this in turn leads to…
-i get respect. it is when people automatically decide i do not deserve respect that i have problems with them, and probably why i am having such a problem with mrs. new tech, and with one of students in the lab- they both automatically wrote me off as someone they could ignore. well f*ck them, i will not be disrespected and ignored
-i am not scared of new things- seriously, what is the point of life if you are afraid to leave your bubble?

right. i’m feeling better. and i’m realizing that as much as i had originally planned to work this job forever, i could instead take what i learn from this lab and move on to bigger and better places eventually, places where people realize and recognize my talents rather than sweeping them under a rug. not that i’m quitting, mind you, but that maybe seeing mrs. new tech, who could be older than my dad but is making less money than me (or at least she better be, i have a more advanced degree than her dammit) working the position i have made me realize that maybe i don’t want to be in this lab until i’m old. i did get an offer to do a phd in montana recently, maybe i should contact that prof and let her know what i’ve been learning, she did have a weird habit of totally believing in me…

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killing rats is starting to make me nauseous

December 17, 2007 at 9:54 am (Uncategorized)

surprise surprise, right? well, let me preface this statement with a little synopsis of what i do now…

so, after years and years of planning to work with fish my entire life, i now work with rats. don’t get me wrong, the lab is great and i love my job. i’ve learned more new techniques and just plain old good science in the last nine months than i did in the entire two years i was in graduate school. i’ve started my own project, i command the lab’s respect, and i boss people around on a daily basis.

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December 5, 2007 at 1:43 pm (cats)

after 17 years, more than half my life, our family cat gordy died this past friday. i loved the crap out of him. he didn’t realize he was a cat and not a person, or didn’t realize we weren’t cats. i was his play toy, his big sister, his best friend. he’d bite my head to tell me he loved me, and he’d follow me to the bathroom in the middle of the night and sit on my toes to keep them warm- especially when i was sick. he was one of the best cat i’ve ever known and i already miss him like crazy.

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