showin' some love

November 28, 2008 at 11:09 pm (Uncategorized)

Dear 8 people who faithfully look at my blog everyday and/or the 8 random people who end up here by accident and end up getting sucked in by all the cursing and cat pictures:

You are awesome. If I knew who you were, I’d sent you lovely greeting cards, like this but handmade, you know, to show the love. Also, you are pretty and you smell nice.

love,

the meg

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listfully blogging…and some other stuff

November 26, 2008 at 11:53 am (Uncategorized)

I heart listography.com. Seriously people, check it out. If you like making lists as much as I do, rather than actually doing work, it is the place for you.

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By the way, how come we get the ugliest possum in the US? If you look at possums from other countries, they are cute. (Also, you know how people look like their pets sometimes? Well, this guy looks like an opossum. Not helping the ‘possums aren’t ugly cause, there, buddy). What selective pressure could there have been in North America vs. the rest of the world that would’ve lead to super ugly rat things thriving in one place, while super cuddly looking popple looking things thrive in another, even though they are all closely related? Things like this keep me up at night, people.

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For today being the day before a holiday, there sure are a lot of people at work. I have to keep my blogging sly so no one notices I’m not actually working…not that they notice when I am working. And technically I’m waiting on an incubation, so I am working. And speaking of working, I’m owed, I don’t know, 100 hours of overtime, which I’m finally going to get paid out…some day. Human resources has been sitting on it for over a month now. Every time I call them, I get “well, we have assigned that to (some person), but they are on vacation this week. Call back next week.” Then, when I call the following week, the case has been assigned to another person who is on vacation. ARGH. That’s my xmas money, people! Right now everyone I know is getting a hug for xmas from me, ’cause that’s as much as I can afford. This is why I hate working for a huge university- it just doesn’t care about the individual. Why should it? There’s plenty more where you came from! Every time I’ve had to deal with a department like HR, anyone in the health services, financial aid, etc., I get an overwhelming feeling of “yeah, we don’t care about you, so bugger off”. I HATE IT. I’m more than just a statistic, people. When I was first being diagnosed with depression, a few weeks after my mom died horribly, the school psych that I saw wanted to write me off right away as just another stupid student who didn’t really understand how hard school was- with out even knowing what I was going through. When I was an undergrad and living on my student loan money, the financial aid office didn’t care when my checks were months late at a time- what’s one more starving student? Now I’m even less of an issue to the university- I’m just staff (not faculty). No one gives a crap about staff. Got a grievence? Work it out with your boss, we dont’ mediate. Are you owed 185793503 hours of overtime because your boss doesn’t understand how the system works? Well, maybe we’ll fix it when we’re back from vacation- which is never. Hate working for us? WELL TOO BAD! No one else will hire you because you are too educated for a real job, and your credit sucks because you took out too many loans and credit cards in college and grad school! GAH!

Not that I am bitter or anything.

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Tonight I begin an epic microscopy session, involving me being locked in a dark closet for at least 8 hours straight. Fun! Well, the fact that we’ll have real data really is fun, but the fact that I’ll be locked in a dark closet for hours on end is less fun. I had planned to start this run on Friday, and bring my pc so I could watch movies and stuff, but if I do it today I might not have to work so much this weekend, so that is good. Plus I have my ebook reader, so I can read like crazy in between squinting down the occulars. I’m all aquiver with anticipation…oh, wait, no, that’s just, well, nothing. Expect some epic blogging, people!

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i am a bizarre oddity

November 20, 2008 at 10:59 am (just pure awesome, um...)

seriously, how awesome is this:

picture-11

fantastic!

also: john cleese has a blog!!!!

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no rabbits or sharks were harmed in the making of this blog post

November 20, 2008 at 12:05 am (life in general)

my days are full of such strangeness.

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in a conversation with my ex-assistant-’cause-the-boss-is-crazy-but-we’re-totally-still-buds-even-though-the-universe- hates-us: something that i don’t remember but involved using the phrase “in retrospect” toooootally wrong

me: you totally used that phrase wrong there, it should be used like: “in retrospect, i should not have eaten that hotdog out of the trash”.

yee yee: well you and i both know i would have if it were a chili dog. also, we haven’t used the word vulva in a while!

****

if you ever wonder where my weirdness comes from:

my dad: something about how he was grumpy ’cause he had a poopy day

me: see, that’s why you need a hobby where you stab things (referring to needle felting, a perfectly or at least mostly harmless hobby)

my dad: well, i did but they kept running away

me: f*cking rabbits

me: (to myself): i love rabbits! i should needle felt a rabbit! i don’t think i took my meds yet today…

****

if you ever wonder why the i am still how i am:

my fiancee, who was until recently called the boy but now i want to give him another nickname: holy crap, clothes at american apparell are hot. you know how much i love the 80s!

me, after looking at said clothes: wow, these are hardcore 80s style. also you can totally see nipple through, like, half of this stuff! blatant nipple!

boy: what’s wrong with nipples?!

me: what’s wrong with this!?

that guy: ok, yeah, some of it does look like aqua teen hunger force hooker clothes

me: also, doesn’t this look like a uterus?

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and then i have conversations with myself:

me, on bus, listening to guy behind me softly (by which i mean at the top of his lungs) singing a sounds-pretty-but-is-totally-pervy-if-you-listen-to-it song, boy-band style: that guy is basically singing that song in my ear. is he coming on to me? don’t make eye contact! face forward! stupid bus crazies!

me, a few stops later: hahahaha, it’s a girl, not a dude! that makes this about 23 times weirder! not ’cause of any potential gayness, but because she’s singing a very not-nice-for-ladies type song!

said girl, at the top of her lungs: hey! i can score some nose candy from that guy! busdriver, let me off here!

me: i have to put this on my blog…

****

and following in the vein of stuff i seriously cannot make up, one of my coworkers was shot in the eye with a freakin’ laser beam today. seriously. apparently an astronomy student was at the top of a building playing around with the laser they use to map stars (!!!) and decided it would be funny to point out the laser at people’s eyes on the street. or was drunk or something. i don’t know, but we’ll get an email about it tomorrow, fo’ sho’! anyway, now my coworker has to rush off for an emergency eye doctor appointment in the morning for what she merely referred to as “visual disturbances” which i’m sure is code for “holy sh*t, my eyeballs are melted!” except i hope not ’cause that would suck and also probably smell. i sent her a very compassionate email in which i told her that this was all way too weird to be true and that i thought, in actuality, her eyes probably just hurt from reading too much bloggess. ’cause mine sure do. I spent 3 hours of my precious not-at-work-or-on-the-damn-bus-or-sleeping time reading the bloggess, but i don’t go around making up stories about lasers, do i? she (the blogggess) is a drug and no amount of cowbell will cure me of her. also, no sharks were harmed in the whole laser process, that i know of.

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in other news, i’ve happily planned to spend the days immediately following thanksgiving at work, collecting data on a microscope in a closet ’cause I hate holidays and would rather spend them locked in a dark room than pretending to be happy around people who are made uncomfortable by my mere presence. fact.

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i did not go to graduate school so i could wash people's dishes!

November 19, 2008 at 10:19 am (Uncategorized)

seriously lab folks, if you are going to leave your dishes out for me to clean, even though you are supposed to do it yourself, at least take the time to wipe your name off of the bottle all the way, rather than just partly.

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random goodies

November 18, 2008 at 8:28 pm (bus bloggin', thoughts and musings)

I just discovered that I can blog from my phone! Horray, something else to do on the bus to avoid eye contact with all the crazies! The only “downside” is that I can’t seem to keep my “no uppercase letters” theme going, but maybe that’s ok. Maybe it’s time to use capital letters like a real person. We’ll see. I’ve never really prided myself on being a “real” person.

Some thoughts:
-did I use “prided myself” correcly? ‘Cause it looks all wonky to me.
-why the hell are there so many quotation marks in this post so far?
-I probably totally look like a lame scene or sorority chick, sitting on the bus stop bench, typing away at my phone. Don’t worry people, I don’t actually have any friends to text. Cue sad laugh! Also I’m way too old to know what “scene” means.
-Oooh, a text from Yee Yee! Too bad it’s all about how she got a cool comment from the bloggess while all I got was a scolding.

In other news, today at work I had an unfortunate encounter with gravity. See, gravity and I are not on good terms. I like standing up and walking sometimes, and gravity seems to think that occasionally I just need to fall flat on my face, and the more joints I twist on the way down, the better. So today, on the way to lunch, I was minding my own business, about to cross the street, when suddenly POW!!! I fall on my damn face. Or technically, I skidded in a patch of gravel, fell, and caught myself on my left knee and both palms, springing up lightly and laughing it off while my coworker freaked out. And then I took a step and realized, “hey, that ankle that you haven’t ever twisted before? Yup, toooootally twisted the crap out of it this time. Have fun!” Well, f*ck you, gravity. The best part was that immediately after I fell and started walking again, the truck that had stopped at the light pulled a quick u-turn, as if to say “quick, the gravity is too high in that area! Evacuate!” or possibly “holy sh*tballs, that girl is nuts. We need to get out of here before she comes after us.” Either is equally possible, I think. I wonder if there is a way to blame my problems with gravity on my boobs…

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spanking the bottle

November 18, 2008 at 12:22 pm (hero worship, work shmork)

i bitch about my job a lot, but i actually work with some funny people. we talk about vaginas and poop a lot. we have so many weird, random conversations, many initiated by me or yee yee, but sadly i can never remember the whole conversation or i’d post it here for all to enjoy. like the title of this post. it refers to how one of the students was trying to consolidate two bottles of purell into one, and was making crazy noises while doing so. then someone that may or may have not been me mentioned how she was busy spanking her bottle. merely a small nugget from the goodness that is our lab. i know you are jealous. sometimes we work, too.

thanks to me, several of us are now obsessed with the bloggess, who is basically my hero. seriously. sorry, bloggess, but that’s just how it goes. my assistant now goes around muttering “my vulva is too boxy” and i love it. the people in lab who haven’t read the bloggess yet are dirty heathens but not in a fun way just think we’re being weirder than normal, which is fine. weirdness is all relative, anyway.

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brightness is an issue

November 17, 2008 at 8:16 pm (um..., work shmork)

courtesy of the boy, who bought a fancy huge new monitor for himself, i got myself his hand-me-down-yet-still-quite-nice monitor. it is pretty and big and lovely, but i can’t figure out how to set it so that the brightness is just perfect. so, instead, i decided to change stuff on the interwebs that annoyed me on my new monitor- for example, my old blog template. this one looks much better…

i hate interviews. seriously, seriously hate them. it’s not that i don’t like the sitting down and selling myself- that’s no problem ’cause i’m pretty sure i’m hot stuff, no matter how you slice me. so, the first round of interviews isn’t a big deal. it’s the second, where i have to do something to impress, that sucks. i had a second interview today at a biotech company, where i had to make and give a presentation on some scientific technique i was familiar with. i spent a solid week perfecting my presentation, and then gave it…and have to wait another two weeks to find out if i get the job or not. I HATE THAT! i am an instant gratification kind of girl! i’m not good at waiting!

poop. i’m all frazzled today so no fun thoughts will come out of my head for the blog. maybe later…after i decompress a bit!

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blerp.

November 15, 2008 at 2:42 pm (cats, crafts, just pure awesome, life in general)

i was supposed to be at the ren faire this weekend, but instead i got sick. stupid, stupid stomach. possibly caused by exposure to estrogen at work, but most likely just a bug. i busted my butt this last week making kilts for my dad and the boy, which came out pretty freakin’ awesome if i say so myself, which i do. i didn’t get a chance to make myself something for the faire, so i guess it’s ok that the universe conspired to keep me from going.

because i don’t have much else to offer for this post, here’s a picture of kiwi, looking cute while plotting disaster, i’m sure:

img_5184bthe pic was edited slightly because there may or may not have been a nipple trying to get in on the picture originally… you know, like that person who stands in the background of pictures and poses even though they are not actually being photographed on purpose. except in this case it may or may not have been a nipple. anyway, focus on kiwi! he is cute! look at his massive cuteness! he’s taken to enjoying sitting in my lap, which is a pretty novel experience for me as a cat person- usually, the cats i’ve had have just sit near me, not on me, or will sit in my lap but if i try to touch them they get pissed. kiwi is unique in another way, too…he likes to sit on my lap best when i am on the toilet. such a weirdo. but so cute, so how can i resist??

in other news, we have a fruit fly infestation in my apartment and it is gross. also, they drive kiwi crazy, which amuses me, but not enough to stop squishing every bug i encounter. for some reason their strong hold appears to be the dishwasher, so i’ve been randomly running the dishwasher to kill the crap out of them. they seem to be on the decline but they are sneaky little jerks… when i was an undergrad, i worked in a building that housed a lot of comparative biology labs- that is, people studied lots of random animal models in that building. people also used lots of really sensitive equipment, so pesticides were not allowed in the building- so not only did we get lots of icky bugs from outside, but whenever i saw fruitflies in the lab, i always worried that they were escapees from labs- so if i squished them, i was squishing someone’s work. or that it was a mutant and killing it would release a pheromone that would attract 755,839,202 of its closest friends and relatives to destroy me. at home, though, i feel no such fear. those little jerks came in on my bananas, and they will go out by my rolled up research papers.

sidenote: the misadventures of flapjack may be one of the weirdest shows i’ve ever had on in the background while blogging.

oh, what’s that? you need more kiwi? well, who am i to dissappoint?

img_51831oh kiwi, your cuteness is the sunshine of my life. but you are such a little bimbo cat…so pretty, less smart. and how come my arms look so oddly manly? hurumph.

speaking of hurumph, why do i love the show frisky dingo so much? i think i have a girl boner for xander crews. maybe because he’s naked for basically the entire first season? perhaps, perhaps.

in case you are wondering, i am supposed to be working on a presentation right now. that’s why my blog is so meandering. anything to avoid working! even though this presentation is crazy important! another good reason i did not go to the ren faire this weekend. the presentation itself is done, i just need to read up on the background info. it may be strange of me, but i think i should probably know what the heck i’m talking about when i give the presentation…

i’m still not happy with my stupid job. my boss hates me and continually either patronizes me or acts like i know nothing. actually, i think that the main reason i need a new job. i have an extensive scientific background, dammit. when we talk about binding proteins, i know a thing or two. when we talk about steroidogenic proteins, i can hold my own in a conversation. i have enough background that when something in a presentation seems off to me, there’s a good chance it is and i’m not just dumb. so why is it, when i ask questions in lab meetings, i’m given blank stares from the students and “you are so dumb” looks from my boss? it’s been almost two years, people, you’d think they’d have figured out that i am not just a research tool and that maybe, just maybe, i know what i’m talking about. jerks.

ok, i’m inspired to go finish my presentation now. go meg go!

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la la la…

November 11, 2008 at 10:58 am (work shmork)

i so don’t care about work anymore… i have a follow up interview/presentation for a job next monday, and three craft projects to finish by friday, and two cute cats to cuddle with, and, um, everything else in life that i’d rather be doing than working. but, i’m a professional tech, i do my job with integrity, even if i’d rather be elsewhere. so here i am at work, blogging while i wait for a new batch of rats to come in…i can’t wait ’til i don’t have to deal with rats any more. since working in this lab, i’ve developed a serious allergy to them. not to mention the fact that i actually really like the little guys- they are super cute and have distinct little personalities. stupid science. i felt the same way about the stingrays i had to use for my masters- they are super pretty and amazing animals if you look at their physiology, behavior and evolutionary history. of course, we wouldn’t know that with out doing science on ’em, so it’s a great big catch 22. story of my life.

i have some lovely new pictures to post, but sadly they are on my poopy old camera, which has an ancient memory card so i need to find my converter first. poop. in good news, i learned how to needle felt! exciting!! so far i’ve only done applique (i.e. felted felt to wool), but it is super fun. had a bad day? go stab the crap out of some wool! of course, don’t go too crazy- the first time i tried to needle felt i broke three needles at once. awesome. thank goodness joanns stays open late…

sigh, time to go organize new rats…

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