and now for something completely different

March 18, 2009 at 1:20 pm (animal behavior, art?, austin awesome, just pure awesome, life in general, weirdness abounds)

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce… Turtle Opera.

No, I have no idea what he/she* is doing, but my guess is opera because it isn’t turtle mating season yet. You can tell some of the turtles on campus want to be ninja turtles when they grow up, though:
He/she’s totally working his/her biceps.

And I stick by my theory that too much of anything gets a little creepy, aka swarms are gross and too many turtles start to look disturbingly like bugs:

which is probably why this guy/gal decided to make a break for it:
This is how I imagine these turtles are interacting:

Big turtle: Noooo! Take me with you!
Little turtle: Screw you, I need to be free! Also you don’t share your algae/fish/french fries/whatever turtles eat with me! Goodbye forever! Or at least until I chicken out and jump back into the water!

The best thing about red-eared slider turtles? This:
Turtle smile!

*short of cutting it open, I have no idea how to sex a turtle unless I am watching them mate**.

**I probably need to clarify that I mean watching it mate with another turtle. You crazy readers…***

***I should probably further clarify that I am not some crazy who goes around watching turtles mate on purpose, I just see it at zoos or on TV or in the above turtle population sometimes and if you have never seen a turtle couple getting it on, you should google it because that shit is HILARIOUS. ****

****”that shit is hilarious” is totally a scientific phrase. Also, there’s this:
Interesting street art is almost as cool as crazy opera turtles in my book.



  1. Steam Me Up, Kid said,

    I feel like I should leave the first comment open for Kurt, because he’s an expert on turtle rape and that first shot looks like a gang bang. Somewhere under all those turtles, Jodie Foster is screaming for help.

  2. M said,

    Yeah, sadly I did totally think of him when I saw Opera Turtle, because my first thought was, “that turtle is totally going at it and really enjoying it!” Do they make turtle sized rape whistles? My nerdbrain wants to point out that what’s actually happening is thermoconductance, but nerdbrain isn’t fun at parties.

  3. Steam Me Up, Kid said,

    Yeah zip it nerdo. Anyways…

    No, sorry, I mean that sounds interesting. There’s heat traveling somewhere? Through the turtles? Turtles keeping warm?

    In school they taught us girls to act weird if we were ever raped, like bark like a dog or bleat or eat grass, because nobody wants to rape a crazy. (Which is false because everyone wants to rape a crazy, am I right Kurt? I think Kurt even makes you a special blog award if you do.) So maybe the turtle learned that same thing in rape class and that’s what turtle is doing there, bleating like a sheep. Because that would be crazy for a turtle to do that. A total turn-off.

    I’m not done. I’ll be back. Is there any way to reserve the topic of Megan saying “I have no idea how to sex a turtle”? Savies?

  4. Kurt said,

    I’m not sure how I feel being instantly associated with turtle rape. I guess proud, but I’m so bombed on Robitussin your guess is as good as mine. Also, they do not make turtle rape whistles because they have no lips and a wicked biting instinct. Just ask anyone who’s ever tried to get a BJ from a turtle. No. Not me. Someone else.

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