If waiting were personified, it would be a big, fat, mean jerk

March 9, 2009 at 8:54 am (jinxing myself, why do i do these things?, work shmork)

GAH! F*ck you, waiting! I hate waiting on interview results, especially. So, the big teaching interview I have been alluding to was this past Saturday. Technically, it’s not to get a teaching job, but to get into this advanced fancypants teaching certificate program- you do six weeks of training, then start teaching right away. The “interview” was a day long event where I had to prepare a five minute teaching sample, participate in a “discussion group”, do some “writing samples”, and finally, at the end of the day, do the actually interview. What a bunch of hooey. The teaching sample went well- I talked about the physiology of the stomach, and I can teach your pants off so that was no problem. The writing sample and discussion were bull-hockey- the questions were along the lines of “you are a new teacher and your principal is yelling at you that your grades suck. What do you do?” How the hell should I know?? I don’t know anything about the culture of being a teacher, I just know how to teach people stuff. The interview reiterated these questions so I made up some nonsense that in retrospect was basically verbal diarrhea (which, technically, is called logorrhea- look it up, fools!). Bah.

The good news is that they will let us know their decision with in a week. I can only hope that the people who were shit instructors but had really good bullshit answers for the bullshit questions are judged accordingly, since I was in the category of “good teaching, not putting up with bullshit questions.” Sigh. Especially annoying were the people who went off on their soapbox diatribes instead of answering the actual questions we were asked to discuss- yes, dude, standardized testing is super stupid, but we’re supposed to be discussing whether or not it is the teacher’s responsibility to make sure students succeed, and the way the state determines that is through standardized testing, so stop pontificating and let someone who knows what the hell the question is about get a word in. Not that I’m judging.

In other news, I completely hate Daylight Savings time. F*ck you, Ben Franklin! I don’t actually know if he was the one who started Daylight savings, but I also don’t actually care to look it up. I do care that it is now pitch black when I wake up, which sucks some serious donkey parts.

In other, other news, I dyed my hair this weekend so that I wouldn’t go to my interview with hair that was two inches dark blonde, four inches light blonde, because my hair is crazy and hates me. I had intended to go all auburn, so it’ll fade properly (have I mentioned my hair defies logic?), but the color the stylist recommended came out crazy, crazy red…it looks ok, but let’s just say the interviewers won’t be forgetting me. That’s a good thing, right? Sigh. Also, here is a conversation my stylist and I had, where I should’ve realized I was in trouble:

Her: Have you done red/auburn before?
Me: Yeah, many times
Her: Oh thank goodness. So you know it may not turn out exactly like we expected, right?
Me: …

Whatever, it came out cool in the end. I’d totally post a picture but 1) it would ruin my secret agent cover on this blog and 2) I’m not good at taking pictures of myself, myspace-angle-style, unless there is a cat in my face.

Off to check my email for the millionth time in hopes that I have received my “we love you, join our program” email…


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what is this squirrel thinking?

March 3, 2009 at 9:17 am (austin awesome, teach this!)

I haven’t had time to blog lately, what with being so popular all of the sudden* so instead of a real post I posit this question:

What is this squirrel thinking?

He’s not eating or anything, he’s just sitting there, doing nothing pondering the deeper meaning of something. So, is he:
A). Wondering where he buried that last pecan**
B). Hiding from the local hawk
C). Hoping his escaped lab rat lady friend still loves him (does that green glow mean love?)
D). Using his psychic squirrel powers to summon his brethren to attack the next person who stops to take his picture
E). Other (discuss)

Am I ready to be a teacher or what? I can totally think up word problems on the spot. My interview is this Saturday!

*this includes being for some reason very popular with the ladies, if you know what I mean****. Sadly I’m totally clueless about this stuff even with boys and have about zero gay-dar so when a girl asks me “hey wanna come over, we can do some crafting” I really think she means we’re going to whip out our embroidery needles and talk about how we hate our labs. This is a story for another time…

**If you pronounce it “pee-can” we are no longer friends. Not that I judge.

***I guess I should start preparing my “teaching segment” of the interview…

****Wink wink, nudge nudge!

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