denial ain't just a river, it's my state of being

February 12, 2009 at 11:18 pm (cold, continuing depression, jinxing myself, just pure awesome, mom, the boy, weirdness abounds)

i don’t want to think about what today really is for me, so instead here is a picture i took of the hawk that likes to hang out in the trees above the creek outside my office/lab. also work is still abysmal, my boss and i were supposed to meet yesterday to talk about how i am terrified that the students are going to make me lose my job and how uncomfortable i am around them, but she never showed up for the meeting. when i asked her about it her reply was, “i can’t remember why we were meeting, so it must not have been important!”

seriously.

anyway, here’s the hawk. today i saw him swoop down and catch a frog, maybe. or it could’ve been a rat or  small dragon or a gnome, i didn’t get a good look at it.

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the intended meal, be it frog, rat or gnome or other, is under the claw you can’t see. the hawk wouldn’t start eating while i was watching it. i try not to think that whatever small animal was caught by this majestic bird was originally some poor lab animal that escaped, only to be devoured. not only is that a shitty fate (but such an apt metaphor for life!) but imagine how many weird chemicals would be coursing through the hawk’s veins if it were true.  just for the record, all my rats are accounted for! no estrogen and/or pcb filled hawk treats are on my conscience, thank you very much.

also, how freakin’ awesome is this picture?

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the correct answer is, of course, quite. quite awesome indeed. and that’s the original pic, no color adjustment or anything. if you’re not from austin, just know that this monstrous fork (it’s probably 2 stories high, maybe?) is a classic landmark for a sorta so-so restaurant (sorry, sad but true, even if the hot waiters do flirt with me), and the object at impaled on the fork changes sometimes. for a while it was a sad looking birthday cake, and before that i think it was fries, maybe… anyway, the point is i was walking by today and snapped a picture around sunset and it turned out FANTASTIC! i plan to use it in my valentine for the boy. we never do valentines stuff, so this’ll be a surprise.

lastly, because i love a good photo-rich blog post, the boy and i went to a local sculpture garden that we’d never been to before a while back for our anniversary. my favorite thing there was that there were a ton of guard lion statues! you know, the kind that are paired up so they flank the entrance to a house or library or court house. oh, just look at the picture:
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i tried to skew the perspective on purpose because i thought he deserved to look as regal and majestic as possible, but it might still be obvious that this guy’s only about a foot tall. anyway, he was my favorite of the three or four pairs of lions we saw.

also, this statue, the last in a series of season statues on display in the sculpture garden, reminds me of my mom for some reason:
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the chin, maybe? but no, my mom and i have the same crazy pointed irish chin, so i don’t know if that’s it. maybe the tilt of her head? in any case, how apt is it that she represents winter? i know i haven’t been truly warm on the inside for four years, to the day.

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my head is a-spinnin'

February 3, 2009 at 4:18 am (cats, cold, GIST, just pure awesome, lessons in troll avoidance, life in general, simply flabbergasted, so confused)

Oi. Someone I know who will henceforth forever be known as “AlphaTroll” is trying to make my life miserable. Of course, I don’t know why I’m surprised, she’s been doing it the entire two years I’ve worked with her. Rather than fixate on this and worry if someone will randomly take it so far out of context that my brain will explode trying to figure out where the hell they are coming from, I will instead be inspired by this site. My goal now is to write five things that inspire me or bring me happiness every time I feel like punching the AlphaTroll.

1) Cat paws. The harrier the better.
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2) Well weathered art.
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3). Frosty plants at the bus stop.
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4). Silly cat expressions
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5) My lanterns
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This is a very good exercise in peaceful thinking! I totally feel better now and highly recommend it.

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i hate winter

January 2, 2008 at 12:21 pm (cats, cold)

ok, so austin doesn’t get much of a winter so i really shouldn’t complain, but i always end up getting sick in the winter. yeah, yeah, everyone does, but i don’t care- it’s my blog and i’ll bitch if i want to. my left tonsil is so swollen it feels like it’s going to explode, and the meds i’m on make my stomach hurt. i just want to go back to bed but i have so much crap to do and so many bills to pay…bleh. it’s so cold we actually turned our heater on (outrageous!) and the stupid dry, warm air is making my throat even worse. time to go restock my popsicles…

on a lighter note, our cat jellybean did something freakin’ hilarious yesterday. she’s an indoor/outdoor cat, and when she wants in she meows gently at the door. yesterday, she meowed madly- i thought the hounds of hell were after her she was meowing so crazy. i opened the door and saw that she had very proudly brought me a mouse, in the way that cats that love you bring you stuff they catch because they love you. only, jellybean had brought me a toy mouse. where the hell did she get it?? not that i’m complaining, i’m very happy she didn’t bring me a real mouse, dead or alive, but wtf? not only that, but she had a cut on her face that had a claw sticking out of it- apparently she fought with another cat for said toy mouse, and won. she was strutting around like crazy, too. so cute, so weird…

so sick, so sleepy…

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