There is no sense to this one…

May 18, 2009 at 9:09 am (life in general, meg)

I’m so bad about writing these days! And I don’t know why, my head is just as full of crazy as it always has been, so somewhere along the line I should be pouring that crazy onto my keyboard and thus into the interwebs. Instead, whenever I go to my blog I just mess around with backgrounds and themes and such. I admit, I can be a bit of a wanker sometimes*.  But hopefully I’m an anonymous wanker now! Go ahead, new readers, just try and figure out who I am! Except don’t, that’ll ruin the mystery…also that assumes that I get new readers. I had a boss in high school, when I gloriously worked at the bowling alley across the street from my parents’ house and got hit on by 50+ year old men every night, who loved saying “you know what happens when you assume? You make an ass out of you and me.” To which I always thought, Good one, Aesop, now shut up and let me go finish spraying the dirty shoes that are stacking up on the counter. But I was meek and polite so usually I just apologized for assuming that costumers who told me that they had their own bowling shoes were totally lying when I could see that they were, in fact, just wearing sneakers. But enough about my recurring nightmares…

Hey, what the heck happened to my font?!?

Yesterday Dr. FianceeHusband and I were at a “restaurant” and I watched a guy pull up at the drive through and order through his back window, rather than the driver side, normal window. Then we debated whether or not he did this because he was such a cool, low rider guy and his seat was just that far back (which it was, actually), or because his front window didn’t work. His car was very shiny and pretty, with rims and everything, so I’m guessing its’ the “cool guy” thing.

Two more weeks of work! Woot! Except then I won’t have an income or insurance! Shit!

I saw the new Star Trek movie and liked it, except that we saw it at the IMAX and it was TOO BIG to take in, which was annoying. Also, seriously, J.J. Abrams, what’s with the jerky camera motion? Come on, relax buddy, and get your camerapeople some freaking tripods. The only thing that kept me from horking was the fact that new Kirk was so pretty. Pretty even when the IMAX made his face so big that I could see right down into his soul through his pores during close ups. But, you know, not in a creepy way.

I start student teaching in three weeks- eep. I am worried that despite all my buster and preparedness, I’m going to get up there in front of the kids and just go totally blank. Or my nipples will, um, stand at attention. When I was a TA in grad school, there was a day when I was leading a discussion section** and I watched as all eyes suddenly, as one, moved from my face to my chest. Apparently I was very excited about mitosis… From then on I wore a hoodie to class, no matter how hot it got. And there were days when I would be 100+ degrees outside, but sweating was a small price to pay for invisible nipples. Also on those hot days less students showed up at office hours in my cramped, un-air conditioned office. Hmm… Now I have to dress “pretty” though so I think a hoodie is no longer an option, though I have thought about sweaters- but do you know how much those damn things cost?!? Maybe I’ll try to get away with wearing hoodies with my dresses…

This weird font size change is pissing me off, and I can’t figure out how to fix it!

Our car is trying to make me crazy. It has decided that now that I will actually need it on a daily basis, rather than just once a week when we buy groceries or go to “restaurants,” it will die on us repeatedly. We can’t figure out what its problem is, so Dr. FianceeHusband is finally breaking down and taking it to the shop. See, we have a volvo, in a we-used-to-have-a-cool-old-volvo-and-now-we-have-a-soccermomish-new-one-shut-up kind of way. Volvos are awesome because you can drive the hell out of them, by which I mean you can put 1845893578923489 miles on them, but when they break you can’t just run to Autozone to get a new part since they are all Swedish/German-y. So, there’s one really good Volvo shop in town, and they are so good and there are so many Volvos in Austin that you can’t just drive up and say “hey, my car’s broke!” and they’ll fix it, you have to make an appointment. So it could take a while to get the car into and out of the shop, which is bad because 1). I need it, and soon and 2). Dr. FianceeHusband is leaving town for two weeks this weekend, which means I’ll have to deal with the mechanics and I’m not good with confrontations when I don’t have all the facts. What if they tell me that the harmonic balancer*** needs to be replaced? Or that it’s time to replace the unicorn oil****? I’ll be powerless to tell them to shove it, and we’ll end up
getting charged $28248312.

My word count on this post is creepily stuck on 911…what does that mean? Even though I keep writing, it won’t change. Do you need assistance, WordPress?!? Maybe I’ll just stop writing now…but just in case, here is a tiny goat:

IMG_1341b
You just never know when you might need a tiny goat.

*I have been shamelessly watching BBC shows. Swoon!

**Translation: lecturing because none of the students could understand the prof

***This is a real part in Volvos!! They are from the future or space or something! Also can you believe that WordPress doesn’t think “balancer” is a real word?

****I bet Volvos do run on unicorn oil…

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